Little White Pills
by MajesticGull
Summary: Dr. Neil Watts knew what he was doing. He wasn't as stupid as Eva always told him he was; he knew that what he was doing was destructive and that he had to stop. He also knew that the longer he continued to do it the harder it would be to quit. Trigger Warning: Substance Abuse. RosaWatts.


**A|N:** This has probably been done before but, truth be told, I actually haven't read any To The Moon fanfictions yet. I finished the game about an hour ago and pondered over whether or not to type this up before I decided to just go ahead with it. Leave a review if you want me to continue it or not, just so I can get an idea on what people want :)

Anywho, trigger warning for substance abuse, because that's what it is, and I'd rather everyone stay safe if this topic happens to trigger you. Please, look after yourself rather then read this story if it does.

Thanks to those who do read this; I'm not sure if I'll continue it or if I'll write more… we'll see.

Anyway, before I begin; I don't own anything apart from the laptop used to write this, and the coffee used to keep me awake.

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><p>Dr. Neil Watts knew what he was doing. He wasn't as stupid as Eva always told him he was; he knew that what he was doing was destructive and that he had to stop. He also knew that the longer he continued to do it the harder it would be to quit.<p>

Eva was walking beside him, her eyes bloodshot and her hair a tangled mess. Both hadn't showered in over a day and both were weighed down with the fatigue of having two clients to deal with within the day. It was always hard doing a job that always ended in the client dying, a small smile across their face as the heart monitor began its endless sound of death.

It always helped when he had a pocket weighed down with the weight of his pill bottle.

He knew Eva suspected that he was addicted; she kept glancing his way as they made their way towards their offices. But she never said anything, almost as though she didn't know how to approach the subject.

Or maybe he was overreacting and she was just curious to see how tired he was. In his mind, he concluded that that was probably the most realistic answer; if she did know, he was positive that she'd slap him around the head, confiscate the pill bottle and make sure he didn't step anywhere near a chemist or the doctors without her nearby.

They came to their offices and Eva didn't even bother to say goodbye, pushing her door open with a glance over her shoulder before she vanished into the room, no doubt to grab her stuff and leave for her home to shower, eat and sleep.

Neil breathed a heavy sigh, rubbed a hand over his face and entered his own office, the door closing behind him loud enough to make him cringe. He reached his desk and threw open one of the drawers, grabbing the cleaning cloth to quickly clean his glasses. He blinked tiredly as he cleaned them, his sight suddenly better and his headache easing when they were clean once more.

He busied himself with packing his work bag, his mind flitting to the heavy feel of the bottle in his pocket.

It always happened the same way; his mind drifting to the bottle and the object itself feeling suddenly heavier in its pocket.

He cursed slightly and fumbled with it, pulling it out before turning it in his hand. His named, scrawled in the usual mess that was a doctor's handwriting, stared out at him as though it were daring him to take another pill or two.

He placed the bottle on his desk and turned back to his bag.

With a heavy sigh he shrugged his coat off his shoulders, reaching around to grab it before it fell, moving to drape it over the back of his office chair. With his back to the door, he reached down to his bag, pulling out the grey, long sleeved shirt.

He glanced behind him, the pill bottle looking almost innocent on his desk as it stood between a bottle of hot water and his laptop. He reached out towards it, his hand stalling when his mind drifted to Eva, the woman only a room over across the hallway.

He had no doubt that she'd pop in to say goodbye like she always did so he grabbed the bottle before pulling open a drawer and dropping it inside, not bothering to close it before he turned back around to his bag.

He pulled the dirt stained, blue shirt he had warn for the previous two days over his head, stuffing it into his bag before throwing his coat inside along with it. He zipped it up before straightening, his back popping as he groaned. He tilted his neck, rubbing it with the palm of his hand as he closed his eyes. He took a deep breath before letting it out, feeling his tired body loosen up slightly. He opened his eyes, squinting at the sudden light before he reached for the grey shirt, slipping it over his messy hair and pulling it down to cover his stomach.

He shrugged his shoulders once more before reaching down to pick his bag up, throwing it over a shoulder and turning around to grab his pill bottle before leaving.

Instead he found Eva staring at him intently, his bottle in her hand as she stood directly before him, an eyebrow arched and her face set into a grim glare that made him squirm under it.

"You know, it isn't nice to sneak up on people," Neil faked a grin, eyes darting to the pill bottle in her hand before they darted back to her eyes.

"Why?"

"Because scaring people isn't nice Eva!" Neil acted like he was confused by the question, frowning slightly as he willed himself not to glance down at the bottle once more. He didn't want to make his addiction overly noticeable, even if a part of him wanted Eva to know so she could help him get better.

And he did. He did want to get better, and he did want Eva to help him, but he was scared. So, _so_ scared of the judgmental looks he'd get and disappointing the people he cared about the most. Being that scared was enough to make him keep the secret. That, and the part of him that didn't want to stop.

"Cut the crap Neil. Why," Eva's brow drew together in a glare, "do you have these. You stopped taking them three cases ago."

Neil swallowed and shrugged a shoulder, "I aggravated my shoulder. I'm fine just- just hand me the bottle and we can go to our respective homes for the weekend."

"No."

"No?" Neil pretended his didn't hear the despair in his own voice.

"No Neil. I know you didn't aggravate your shoulder," Eva's voice was suddenly soft and she looked almost, _almost_ guilty as she pocketed the bottle, her eyes drifting up to his.

"Look, Eva, you just have to trust me when I say I'm fine and that I'm handling it, okay?" Neil knew it was his last chance to convince the woman before him that he was fine and that he didn't have an addiction to the little white pills.

But when Eva breathed a sigh and shook her head, he knew he had lost. His secret was out and he had no doubt he'd be shipped off somewhere to meet an overly cheery person just so he could _talk about his feelings. _

"Neil, this is bad. So bad and you have to stop. You _need_ to stop," Eva wasn't looking anywhere other than straight at him and he swallowed, closing his eyes and almost jumping when he felt her hand around his, hers seeming so much warmer than his own.

"And I'm going to help you."

Neil mentally cursed himself when he felt his eyes burn and he opened them, rubbing at them furiously with the hand Eva wasn't holding in a limp grasp. He took in a shaky breath and glanced at the bottle in the bag, his heart heavy and his hands jittery with the longing to have it back.

"Just one more?" he asked hopefully, his hopeful smile dropping when Eva shook her head.

"C'mon. You can stay at mine tonight. We'll drink coffee and talk this over."

"And watch Star Wars?" a smile, albeit smaller than usual, flitted across his face as she led him out of his office and down the hallway.

Eva gave a small chuckle from beside him, "Don't push it."

And if either of them realized that they were still holding hands, they didn't mention it.

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><p><strong>A|N:<strong> To clear things up, I know that it was hinted at him being sick or having an injury of something, but I've decided to read into it a different way for fictional purposes Another thank you those who gave this a read ^.^


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